Christina and bluebicycle gave some great examples of how significant you are in your grandmother's life. Believe me, I understand how you must be, too. It's a shame your other family members don't recognize that properly. If they had to take care of your grandmother, they would finally understand and thank you to pieces for what you are doing.

Assisted living and nursing homes cost thousands of dollars per month, and they are institutional. Even the nicest ones are, to a slight degree. I am sure your grandmother is very grateful that she can live at home with the care and companionship of a loved one, like you.

I'm sorry you've been dealing with a lot of anxiety. I hope that eases soon. I hope that considering what has been said, you can put the unfounded criticisms aside.