I also have a disorganized attachement.

Two sessions ago- I deliberately said things I knew would make him angry. He told me that he was annoyed, but he didn't react the way I expected him. So he had passed my "final test"- but here I am still running away from him simply because things were going very well and I feel close to him. I'm better than when I first started but hey not fixed yet-I think like anything it takes time and it's important to go at your pace.