And I'm so sorry I missed it until a couple of days ago! I don't check this forum much anymore and just happened to see from the main index that there was a new post on this thread.

Deceit and denial are complicated and. . . well, not at all obvious! Maybe like when I was trying to find the "evil" in myself -- knowing it was there somewhere but not exactly sure where? And it kept hiding. Or "I" kept hiding it because I didn't "want" to see it, only the conscientious rational me knew it was there and thought it would be "good" and "healthy" for me to find and accept it. Well, I had been told that it would be good and that seemed "right" at the time. So that's what I was trying to do. Being a "good girl" was a major adaptation for me -- obsessive-compulsive personality disorder characteristics.

Anyway, so sorry that you had such a horrible medical experience!! You have had more than your share of BAD luck, so it's definitely interesting to hear that you had some GOOD luck, too.