My Support Forums - View Single Post - Believing that everyone is a bit fake and two faced at times

sarahsweets · Feb 12, 2020, 02:56 AM

Hey @rdgrad15:

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Originally Posted by rdgrad15

Of course, I say I believe them just to avoid confrontation but in my head, I'm thinking yeah right, that's a bunch of crap. Not buying it. The reason is because we all do it. In general, being two faced is never a good thing, but since we, as humans, are not perfect and never will be, it makes me think that we are all a bit two faced and fake to an extent. What happens when we're angry with someone? We talk about them. What happens when you're jealous? Gossiping ensues. The list could go on.

Do you mean venting to a good friend about someone? I do not look at that as gossip or talking behind someone's back. I have a few friends that I may vent to about another friend regardless if it is a common friend or not but I do not see it as gossip. To me talking about someone behind their back or gossiping means you are talking about someone to multiple people, even people that you are not close with, with the intent to cause harm to their reputation or to be flat out mean.

Quote:

That's why I believe we are all two faced at times. It becomes a much bigger problem when being fake and two faced becomes the person's personality and they do it with malicious, vindictive, arrogant, and even narcissistic intent. In those cases, the person is stuck up and arrogant. But for the rest, I think it is more of a slip up due to a brief bout of anger or annoyance. And maybe, you may even feel bad about it after things have calmed down.

I think we all vent about people to our friends especially if it is a common friend. Just last week I went to a 40th birthday party for a common friend who has always been on the self absorbed side. My BF came as well. The party was a "surprise" but the birthday person knew about it an helped plan it. People were invited to roast him and then following that there was an "intermission" and then the birthday boy had like a concert with him singing his own songs. After intermission I told my BF that I was leaving because there was only so much "self love" I could take. Now this birthday friend is a decent person and his... "self absorption" has never gotten in the way of him being a friend and a good person. So my BF and I vented to each other and said our goodbyes.

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I know I have vented about someone but then felt bad about it afterwards or even during the process of venting. Or in some cases, just two people who just simply don't get along. What do you guys think? Do you think everyone, and I mean everybody, is a bit two faced and fake to an extent? Like I said, no one should have to be with someone who is two faced constantly as a part of their personality, but in a way, I believe the rest of us are guilty of doing that stuff.

I guess I see it a little different. I do not think guilt needs to be involved- I think we all have those friends that we can S**t talk with. But I truly feel like there is a difference between being two faced, fake or a gossip and venting or talking with someone about a friend. I feel this way because of intent or context. Am I rationalizing? Maybe.

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We just have to distinguish between someone who is slipping up due to a bout of brief anger or annoyance, and someone who is two faced due to malicious intent due to being arrogant and stuck up.

I agree.