Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahsweets
Hey @rdgrad15:
Do you mean venting to a good friend about someone? I do not look at that as gossip or talking behind someone's back. I have a few friends that I may vent to about another friend regardless if it is a common friend or not but I do not see it as gossip. To me talking about someone behind their back or gossiping means you are talking about someone to multiple people, even people that you are not close with, with the intent to cause harm to their reputation or to be flat out mean.
I think we all vent about people to our friends especially if it is a common friend. Just last week I went to a 40th birthday party for a common friend who has always been on the self absorbed side. My BF came as well. The party was a "surprise" but the birthday person knew about it an helped plan it. People were invited to roast him and then following that there was an "intermission" and then the birthday boy had like a concert with him singing his own songs. After intermission I told my BF that I was leaving because there was only so much "self love" I could take. Now this birthday friend is a decent person and his... "self absorption" has never gotten in the way of him being a friend and a good person. So my BF and I vented to each other and said our goodbyes.
I guess I see it a little different. I do not think guilt needs to be involved- I think we all have those friends that we can S**t talk with. But I truly feel like there is a difference between being two faced, fake or a gossip and venting or talking with someone about a friend. I feel this way because of intent or context. Am I rationalizing? Maybe.
I agree.
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Yes you are right. There definitely is a difference between common friends to criticize and talk about each other due to anger, annoyance or just plain frustration if they are one of those friends who can't seem to take advice and keep on making the same mistake over and over again. I've been in that situation too. A friend refuses to take advice, only to be met with the same mistake over and over. But yeah, I agree, true gossip and backstabbing is talking about others, even people you don't know, to everyone, even to people you don't know. I've seen that happen too. Quite frightening because you know that person can ruin your reputation. I've had that happen to me. But yeah, I do agree with you that a little bit of talking or venting about someone to others you are close to is normal, talking about others because it feels good and there is malicious intent behind it is not normal.