Last Monday felt it pop and drove myself to the hospital. After major surgery on my bowels, I woke up Tuesday with about 60 staples in me and a colostomy bag attached. The surgeon had removed about a foot of colon. The colostomy is reversible, in about six to eight more weeks, or about the same time I've recovered from this surgery. I'm on pain meds but they only marginally work. The first antibiotics they tried me on caused a rash on my entire body. I still get itchy.
I get tired in two minutes of walking, where I used to walk hours and workout two solid hours plus with no I'll effects.
I'm going to try to get in to my therapist tomorrow, if my friend will drive me. I'm not at terms with this at all. I pretend and tell people I'm ok but a lot of the time I wish I'd died.
I know I need to be grateful to be alive, and a piece of me is but mostly I want to end the pain.