DBT. DBT. DBT.

DBT was actually created for people with our diagnosis but is used to treat many other mental illnesses as well. It has definitely helped me make better choices and I am grateful for that. I want to practice it more, but I think I just did when I was faced with a conversation this week with someone who was interested in dating me. We hadn't met yet, but he asked me if I was sure I was ready for a relationship. Funny enough, the day before I decided to delete all of my online dating accounts and just leave this one person who I hadn't met yet but was still somewhat interested in. I decided if it didn't work out, that I would stop going on these apps in my free time and try to focus more on myself. I finally was able to tell the guy that I wasn't ready for a relationship, which was something that was hard for me to do because I feel like I have entered situations in the past where I wasn't ready and I'm still not.

At church last Sunday, our pastor asked us this question (and asked us to use that question this week, which is probably the reason that I was able to tell this person I wasn't ready for a relationship): what is the wise thing for you to do right now?

It doesn't matter if you're religious or not, it's a good question, and it's funny when DBT focuses a lot about being in "wise mind", so now as I sit here typing this out, I realize (and I believe) that this question being asked at this certain point in my life wasn't/isn't a coincident.

I was diagnosed with BPD over two years ago by my psychiatrist. It's super important to me now to not focus on being romantic in any kind of way. I got back to working out, am working a job I really like, and my goal is to find a new therapist. I spent about two years (all of 2018 & 2019) working on recovering from trauma in the traumatic stress center at the hospital I go to.