So I've been off my meds for 3 months solid. Yes I came off them without telling someone. I've been feeling good not great as in mania but just good. So you all knew this anyway lol as I mentioned it in original post.

Yesterday I saw my Community Psychiatric Nurse and she had a student with her. She says I'm antsy and have pressured speech and an high. She hadn't told the student that I have bipolar. She turned to the student after an hour of me being high etc and said so Laura has bipolar and the student laughed and says yeah I guessed. I looked at my CPN and she said that I have pressured speech and am antsy and I'm literally talking so fast its hard to keep up.

Now I lied to her and said I had maybe had the odd day off the meds. She's well aware I'm a non-complier of medication. Anyways she got her diary out to book next appt. She looked at me and I said 4 weeks will be the week beg 9th March. She was like erm... I was thinking next week or week after. So I'm going to see her next week.

Now... conundrum do I admit I'm off my meds and have been since Nov or do I lie a wee bit and say it's been a month or two. She has seen me 3 times in Nov and 3 times in Dec and once in Jan. I have also seen my Peer Worker once and my Community Worker 4 times since Jan. They all work in the same centre and no-one has sussed me out. Plus I've seen my therapist 5 times since Jan and she knows I'm off my meds though. I see her privately.

Kinda worried it's all coming about now means my hiding skills aren't that great. Means I am losing the ability to trick people.

Apparently I talk non stop and topic jump etc etc the list goes on. I spent 4 hours last night talking to myself cause I had to. I talk to no one as i live alone but i see people so it's nothing major it's not like a hallucination. Time flew away from me i started at 8pm and was like this until midnight. I was up all night and got no sleep I've not slept well since before I came off my meds. OCD tendencies have came back too.

Any way I'll stop talking as I will go on and on and on