Hello Girlindoubt: Thank you for bringing your concern here to PC. I see this is your first post. Welcome to Psych Central.

I don't think your concern is one I can probably be of much help with. There are likely other PC members who will be better able to do so. However I guess what I would say is that, at least from my perspective, you're certainly justified in feeling the way you do about this situation. My personal opinion is that anytime there is secrecy in a marriage, or committed relationship, the relationship is headed for trouble. And the fact that there is a child involved makes the situation just all that much more complex.

I realize this may be difficult but I wonder if, perhaps, the best course of action may just be to "lay-out" what you know to your husband &, if he is agreeable, consider some couples counseling to clear the air & decide where to go from here. That may or may not make sense. But it just strikes me that there has already been too much secrecy & perhaps simply getting it all out in the open may be the way to go. "Let the chips fall where they may", as the saying goes. (Perhaps other members will have better suggestions.) In the meantime here are links to 5 articles from Psych Central's archives. These articles aren't going to address the particular situation you find yourself in. But (hopefully) they may be of some help with putting your situation into perspective & figuring out where to go from here:

What if You Suspect Emotional Infidelity?

The Impact of Secrets and Lies in a Relationship: A Closer Look | Healing Together for Couples

Now That You Know: 10 Tips for Surviving Infidelity

Rebuilding Trust: A Letter to Help Heal Your Relationship After Infidelity, 1 of 2

Restoring Safety: A Letter in Response to the Unfaithful Partner, 2 of 2

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.