Giddykitty, I can kind of relate to your search to figure out what's going on, as my situation has not been super clear and I am prone to ruminate and obsess a bit. Do you relate to being a bit obsessive, too? You mentioned the OCD tendencies which is part of why I asked. I think it makes sense you want to figure things out, but as other have suggested do try to strike a balance if you can. This stuff can take time. My therapist said she's learned you cannot make a diagnosis on the first appointment and need time to really get to know someone. I think it can be especially tough if more than one thing might be going on at the same time. I also want to encourage you to not give up on therapy just because you didn't find the right fit in the past. I have found therapy useless in the past, but finding my current therapist helpful because of her skills and way that she communicates. I hope you get the help you need! You deserve to feel better.