@sarahsweets I discussed it with the outpatient program before I went off. On the medicine my blood sugar was over 400 and my suicidal urges intensified. (The high sugar and suicidal urges may be connected but not necessarily related. ). It was apparently helping manic like symptoms but not depression. They recommended meditation not medication but there is a story behind that. Started in iop and was moved to hospital. They did a meditation in iop that triggered me. So the hospital was teaching me a better way. It has been helpful. With the medication, I had been taking it for almost a decade so it is easy to forget some of the symptoms it did help. My sleep is irregular again some nights down to 1.5 hours, getting more rage but had issues with this even when on meds. The one med that helps with anger/anxiety, I actually never dropped.