Thanks for your opinion. I do agree there are ingrained patterns. My parents raised my sister to believe she could get away with anything so she feels abused when I set boundaries. I'm stuck because of financial problems, but I've managed to improve things a bit in recent months.

The thing is that I'm not a person who is easily bullied by other people. I just got accustomed to my sister's bullying because it was always the way things were since we were kids. And we were orphaned together so she was my only family for a long time. The toxic tantrums got worse when I stopped putting up with direct physical and verbal attacks. My sister seriously feels abused because she can't attack me directly so she considers it "holding her tongue" to scream around me instead of at me. But her victim attitude tells me she feels that I'm in control.

I know it's not nice to call someone a narcissist, but it does work to shut her up and make her self conscious about her tantrums. My sister can control herself in social settings so I expect her to also pretend to be a good person at home. Things have gotten better since I started calling her out on her behavior. My family are not decent or honerable people so I can't be nice all the time. And I told her she could go to jail for shoving me, and she said I was lying but I think it scares her so that should make her back off more and mind her manners. I'm just really disgusted the more I see my sister's character clearly. I can't believe I looked up to her when I was younger.