Well, let's see. Checking in here. I haven't lost a single pound of my extra weight, I have been up and down emotionally, and at times, far in the dumps. Not much has changed. But I've been keeping my reactions in check, for the most part, which is good.

I am not happy about dieting without results. In a month I leave for the beach. I won't even put on a bathing suit if I am heavy.

I hate that I obsess over how I look and over my weight. I am trying to be healthier about this, but it's hard when being thin has been engrained in you for your whole entire life. My mother obsessed over her weight and over being thin, so does my sister.

I am trying to get to a point of acceptance about it -- like, yeah, it's not my preference, and I don't want to GAIN any more weight, but what's the big deal if I am a bit overweight?

Then I see beautiful models on TV and in the movies and I cringe. I want to look like they do... like I used to look. Not that I looked like a model, but I used to look a lot sexier 20 pounds thinner. UGH.

Round and around I go on this one.