My Support Forums - View Single Post - Boyfriend of over a year wants to move in w/ female coworker

sarahsweets · Feb 13, 2020, 09:41 AM

Hey @bruhbruhbruhbruhbr I thought I would address your points one by one if thats ok...
[QUOTE=bruhbruhbruhbruhbr;6762369]There's a lot of detail to this so ill just list in bullets

He’s known the coworker for ⅘ months
Finds her unattractive (she is) Has he said this, or is it your opinion?
Would sleep in the same room/floor (open concept) I dont think I understand what you mean
Has been at her house till 4 in the morning Doing what? What has he told you he is doing?
Doesn’t get why this would upset me and tried to change my mind RED FLAG # 1
Because of our schedules, we can’t see each other over 2 times a week, one of the days being Saturday, which we usually spend all day together. He just informed me he’s spending it w/ her drinking bc she isn’t available another day and told me “what’s one day?” when I explained why that hurt (discussed and resolved this the day before this situation arose) I do not know a single addict who can drink and not do drugs. In fact if he participates in the traditional ideas about sobriety he is not sober.
Turned his location off after our discussion RED FLAG # 2
Her body language is very towards him Do you mean flirting?
She’s single and very shy, has very few friends. He’s very attractive (told so often) RED FLAG # 3
She is nice to me What do you mean?
He’s a recovering addict and she would help him access drugs Is she an addict too? There is no way you belong in a relationship with an addict choosing to be around another addict who will get drugs for them. RED FLAG # 4
He gets along better with females and has many female friends RED FLAG # 5
He is very loving towards me and is not a flirtatious person Well are you sure about that?
She is low on money, but because she willingly stepped down from being a manager and took a pay cut because of stress So she will be charging him rent then?
I fear emotional cheating more so (e.i. Seeking emotional support from her more than me) as well as her passivity inviting more chances for him to relapse I would fear actual cheating. And there is nothing passive about increasing or inviting the chances for drugs, its absolutely deliberate.
Not sure he can afford to move out

If you are not sure and he is not sure than the answer is he cant.