Well, the choice of whether or not you want to rebuild a meaningful relationship with your Dad is up to you, @theoretical. If you're not interested, then try to keep your distance. I can understand you getting more irritated as you discover more things about your childhood though. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @theoretical, your Family, your Friends, your Father and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!