Another dual-diagnosis person here. I am very sorry you are struggling. I have been there--repeatedly.

I agree with BirdDancer. If there is any way for you to avoid having to hit some kind of gigantic rock bottom to turn this thing around, that would really be very much to your benefit. I was not able to avoid that eventuality. I am alive, and that is terrific, but I lost absolutely every single thing in my universe, including my freedom. Multiple long involuntary hopitalizations. Etc. I do not recommend that as a good path forward. It is very traumatic, in and of itself.

Sending you support. You can do this!! But alcohol is not going to help you get where you would like to be, in my opinion. Wishing you the best.