Thinking of you. Sorry it's hard. I completely understand.

Great post by SarahSweet (and others)!

When I was eating disordered, I used to think that other people could be not-skinny and still attractive, but for some reason, I was the exception.

Now, I stand behind myself whatever weight I am, and focus on other things, like enjoying having boobs!

It's quite a subtle shift, but honestly our bodies can feel delightful when they're softer / curvier.

Just a thought but, maybe it might help to invest in some clothes that really go for it in terms of embracing a more voluptuous style. Then you're going out to meet the future with a certain aggressiveness / FU-ness that does feel excellent.

And... not being hungry all the time should give your mood a little boost.

Oh, and stop looking at magazines.

Big hugs to you. The beach is a real challenge.