Hello miss sarasweets, I've had to detox on my own because I'm the only income in our house. It's almost been 1 week and tonight was the worst. Since posting this I've attended NA meetings. Tonight was the first time I attended/participated in an AA meeting, I read as best as I could a paragraph from step-8 and we went over step-9 and discussed. I told the room what I was going through and it took everything I could to talk without sounding like i was sitting on a paint mixer going full throttle. I went to NA after. Today has been as about as I've felt since starting detox. I went from freezing to hot, really bad shakes to exhaustion. When I went to the meeting building one of the AA members saw I wasn't doing good, I told him what was going on and they were really great with reassuring me. Mind you I understand the whole 1 person drinking vs the other is not. When my wife was around I didn't drink...but I don't know how long it would've last knowing what I'm going through right now.

I would never put her or anyone I love in a situation where it would draw them back in to that situation. Even if it meant I had to stay somewhere else to clean up. I know...I grew up in an alcoholic household and watched my mom deal with my dad. I've been on the receiving end of an alcoholic on a bad day. However ...in my arrogance to not be that I learned (taken from an old game I played) that the longer you spend fighting an evil...the easier it becomes to fall to the very thing you hate and become it. Thank you again for taking the time to help and answer me. The next two days will be the real breaker for me as I'm going to try and stop. My condition as is I cannot go cold turkey...and I found out just a little of the way today/tonight. Thank you again very much. Everyone