My Support Forums - View Single Post - I think I need to pull away from my friend (he's beginning to feel like a faux bf)

sarahsweets · Feb 14, 2020, 05:06 AM

Quote:

@sarahsweets, can you explain or elaborate more what you mean? It sounds like you think I have expectations about how this friendship should be and I don't. There are things I wish he did say / didn't say, did do / didn't do. But I'm not sure it's warranted to ask that of him because we are only friends (and that's all I want, friendship). Does that make sense? Also what exactly is important about our back and forth history to you? I'm confused about what you're saying. In terms of accepting him for who he is (unable to give me what I need emotionally as a friend), it sucks but yes I'm working on accepting it and I think pulling back is a way to do that. Maybe also dating people and spending time with other people.

I am sorry if I wasnt clear. Everyone has expectations with any sort of relationships as they should. Many times when our needs are not being met it helps to clarify those expectations for someone. It sounded like to me that you two are pretty tight so I was thinking that if he knew what your needs were then he would either be more considerate of them because the friendship is mutual or state that he cant meet those expectations. I wasnt trying to put you down or accuse you have having expectations that you shouldnt have. Everyone has expectations in friendships and relationships and not all of them have to be stated. But when our needs are not met its up to us to share what those needs are in order to have them met. My idea was maybe if he knew that you needed he would be more mindful.
And regarding your history I only meant that you were saying its been back and forth and maybe that was a good clue as to how things would go with the friendship.