McKell, I haven't read the whole article but I read a few bits. I found Table 1 really enlightening. In general, I am in that "counter dependency" column. Yep, yep, yep. But I see that through therapy, I have more and more moved over to the secure dependency column. Through working with T, I have actually changed! That is very exciting to me and seems really positive. I think I'm still at heart a counter-dependent, but it is very empowering to think that here I am in my 40s and I am learning to have relationships better and be (sometimes) securely dependent. Maybe you can teach an old dog new tricks.

Ha, ha, I can just picture T during his first meeting with me, classifying me immediately as counterdependent. How obvious, I guess I was fooling no one being my "apparently normal person" (love that phrase, it fits me so well). But I cried in our first session too and in went T, with his powerful ability to form relationships and did just that. Therapy continues to amaze me. I am sure T saw right off how healing it would be for me to have a securely dependent relationship with him... Sometime I must tell him how other relationships in my life have improved because of our therapy even though we didn't directly work on them, just because I know how to "do" a relationship better now. Like with my mom, my sisters, my daughters, my friends. I think T would feel good if he knew that about me.

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mckell13 said:
It is what this dependency phobia is doing to me and my real relationships that bothers

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">Interesting, so you don't consider your relationship with your T to be real? What would it take for that relationship to be real to you?

McKell, I'm going to read more in that article later--very thought provoking. I do like the EP and ANP designations.