Quote:
Originally Posted by AzulOscuro
Acceptance. I’m fine with being on my own and far from people but in my case it became more an outcome of defeatism than real acceptance.
I’m thinking that this could be a difference between someone who tends to avoid and a person with the avoidant disorder.
I feel there’s a part of me that it’s not avoidant at all. I mean, it’s not my true self and this may be the reason why I struggle so much because my anxiety doesn’t let me express my whole person.
Hope I’m making sense.
Do you still feel these urges of belonging and engaging with people?
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My anxiety definitely doesn't let me express my whole person. Even at the age of 5 I was labelled as ''withdrawn'' at school and the parental units told me I ''had always been shy''. I remember when I was 5 one teacher who was actually nice to me (once) said ''don't look so worried''.... most people at school didn't like me as I was so ''shy'' and ''silent''... Somehow I have developed a more outgoing part? but only with a very few people and … sort of... online
The Experts said I have ''avoidant personality'' and declared I deserved ''medication and nothing else'' (that was a clinical psychologist
A shrink agreed
that I ''deserved'' no therapy
As I am now allergic to the ''medications'' I am pretty much ****ed
He did say there ''is room for a quiet person'' in a one day ''anxiety'' group which I found quite off putting. I probably wouldn't have said anything anyway
I do not like their labels
I would like to engage with sensitive, thoughtful, kind and intelligent people irl but I have found very few