I just quit.

Thank you so much for your support in writing. I, too, would like to offer my support.

My precancerous mass (1 cm long and deep) was cut from my tongue. At fist I had thrush which penetrated the tongue and became candidiasis erythematous which turned to the precancerous mass. Dry mouth from psych meds is responsible, as is my smoking.

Try to get the book by Allen Carr, it will help you quit... you can get it secondhand on abebooks dot com

The part I find most difficult is he says quit while you haven't developed an irreversible disease, so I kick myself at that part.

I understand the terror ...

I feel great remorse and self-blame, and of course with the fear you just want to reach for another cigarette ...

I'm going to read the book again to help me cope with the brainwashing that the cigarette is my crutch or friend.

Please let me know how you get on ...

I, too, smoked a pack a day for several years...