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Old Feb 15, 2020, 03:05 PM
Tryingtobehappy5's Avatar
Tryingtobehappy5 Tryingtobehappy5 is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2017
Location: Canada
Posts: 443
I go to kickboxing and jiu jitsu a few times a week and we have a FB message group that is very active. When I am higher I will go up to 5 times in a week and be active on chat, when I am lower I can completely shut down and people start to check on me because I dont show up and wont join in the chat conversation.

There is a very big difference in how I interact while there as well from no talking to super chatty. It probably makes me look weird now that I think about it. Some of them know that I am bipolar though, those are the ones that will check on me if they dont hear from me.

I go to AA twice a week when I am doing ok, same thing there, I will share if I am alright or high and if I am depressed I either wont go or I will skip my turn most often because I dont have anything to say.

Also I work and my mood shows there too although I do my best to hide it but I just cant engage people when I am down, it is hard to just manage the minimum necessary to do the job.
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Bipolar 1
Borderline Personality Disorder
Alcohol Use Disorder

Meds:
Depakote
Welbutrin
Abilify

I didn't want any flowers, I only wanted
to lie with my hands turned up and be
utterly empty. How free it is,
you have no idea how free.
- Sylvia Plath
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