Hi nonindentifyable. Firstly I want to say that I'm really sorry you're having such a hard time getting over this girl and finding a suitable girlfriend. I really hope you find someone who's right for you. But I think you need to take a close look at why your previous behavior may have been off-putting for this girl. Developing a fantasy around someone isn't healthy for either of you. I'm sure she felt like you weren't really in love with her, but some fantasy idea of her that didn't really exist.

Anyway I hope you discuss these issues with your therapist because I think it'll help your chances at a future relationship. Take care.