Quote:
Originally Posted by bluebicycle
Just when I thought I could escape my sister's drama...
My dad and mom wanted to bring me to dinner to one of my favorite restaurants in the city on their way back from somewhere, so we went there. My mom sent a text message to our family group text saying that we were eating Japanese bbq (where you have a grille in the middle of your table and cook stuff on it) and she took some pics of us. Then my sister got all pissy and said, "so I am not invited? You did not invite my boyfriend and me?"
She always expects to be invited to everything and have everything paid for. She even wanted a free meal for her boyfriend (since neither she nor he pays). What is her f_cking problem? Then she sent a bunch of manipulative texts to my mom saying, "I guess this is Happy Valentine's Day for me and my boyfriend?" And saying stuff like, "wow, you obviously have favorites in the family."
She is such a b_tch. Seriously. I hope she gets what's coming to her one day. And all I can say is that when my parents die, I am NOT helping her. It's my parents' decision to enable her and give in to her demands, but I am NOT making that mistake with her. She is a f_cking piece of sh_t. There. I said it.
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I struggle to articulate exactly how I feel about this situation with your sister. I have a strong sense of compassion for you both. Her desire to compete stems from a very deeply ingrained sense of insecurity. She is a very aggressive bully, but this only demonstrates the degree of her fragility.
In my experience with teams I find this energy continually comes up until the person is either 1 - exposed completely and publicly as a bully by someone stronger who makes it clear to all how weak minded the individual is. This causes humiliation and shame and shuts the person down for at least the time being OR... 2 the group the bully operates within ignores them and the bully seeks satisfaction elsewhere. She only continues where it is allowed OR... 3 - the group or circle the bully operates within lovingly acknowledges the fact that the person is severely insecure and they seek together as a group how the bully can grow in their own self acceptance and love as opposed to being a vampire like person who sucks the life out of everyone around them. This takes a neutrality that is difficult to find when you've taken someone's blows for a long time or fear them. I've been sent in to 'handle' bullies specifically on numerous occasions. They usually turn out to be very cool individuals once we strip their masks and get down closer to the root of who they really are.
Your parents do not offer love when they pacify her. It is her illusory form of love, but not genuine love. Deep down she knows this, but she will continue to fill the void she's swimming in infinitely if she cannot grow to know actual love.
If I were in your shoes I'd try to hold compassion in my heart and hope for growth for her. I'd also hold gratitude that you have the wisdom to know better and do not seek fake love from your parents. You know who you are Blue. That's a tremendous gift.