How do you handle being around a family member who you have disliked for years, tried to get over but can't?

My dad's uncle has always been loud and verbally abusive to those around him. I finally stopped talking to him altogether but recently thought to try to like him for my dad's sake.

He and my dad believe that if you're a family member, you should be "friends" no matter what.

I tell myself all kinds of things to be a more tolerant person. I've tried to be "an adult" and just get over it. But I simply can't be around my uncle. And it upsets my dad, which I hate.

What should I do? How can I go around ignoring my uncle if he's such an ingrained, close part of the family? My family is apparently more tolerant than I am, and I hate that. I feel like muffling my feelings is not fair to me. If I stop muffling them, it will cause much disruption in the family and more verbal abuse.