I wrote hear a mean email, when she had told me, that I was not important for her life, which was the most mean thing, that was ever said to me. And it hurt me even more to receive this from the person, that I saw to be the most important in my life. I don't see a reason for her to get a restraining order because shortly after my mean emails we both lived in different countries. After seven years I wrote only some nice emails like a birthday wish and expressing how much I was attracted to her from the very beginning. She accused me of following her, as I wanted to spend with her as much time as possible, because I really enjoyed that time even if we just talked empty talk for hours. Her voice was like a voice of a Siren to me. She also gave me mixed information about what she felt towards me. I remember her saying that she would like to go on a vacation to my place, which really overwhelmed my mind. With such statements she gradually made my brain totally unhealthy. She loved bomb me with compliments. I felt she was very fond of me as well. I acknowledge that many things I did was wrong. I even apologized to her several times. I acknowledge that I have trouble letting go of control and possessiveness. We were both very young and inexperienced at that time. I didn't have the communication and social skills. I realize that she saw me as a creep. But I was never physically abusive, I never yelled at her or used any inappropriate words with the exception of couple of e-mails, which I thought would be the last contact with her. Then I have stayed "sober" for the next seven years and didn't write to her until I had a really desperate situation in my life. She immediately terminated her Facebook profile and after some emails she terminated her email account as well. I decided then to let her go and to focus on self-improvement. Last year I started to communicate about this. It was about time.