Quote:
Originally Posted by imaginethat
How do you handle being around a family member who you have disliked for years, tried to get over but can't?
My dad's uncle has always been loud and verbally abusive to those around him. I finally stopped talking to him altogether but recently thought to try to like him for my dad's sake.
He and my dad believe that if you're a family member, you should be "friends" no matter what.
I tell myself all kinds of things to be a more tolerant person. I've tried to be "an adult" and just get over it. But I simply can't be around my uncle. And it upsets my dad, which I hate.
What should I do? How can I go around ignoring my uncle if he's such an ingrained, close part of the family? My family is apparently more tolerant than I am, and I hate that. I feel like muffling my feelings is not fair to me. If I stop muffling them, it will cause much disruption in the family and more verbal abuse.
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Maybe just tell your uncle that you do not care for him period! and from this time forward other than a polite hello and goodbye that will be the only interaction you will engage in.
Boundaries are certainly not easy to use and maintain. I have numerous relatives I have had no choice but to do this.
Your well being is the most important thing.
If members of your family have a problem ? a simple “you do not have to understand my reason for removing him out of my life as much as possible , because I deserve the right to take care of myself “ I hope you can accept this but if not I’m sorry but I will not change my mind