StreetcarBlanche, very well observed. Thanks! the baiting is very typical for my mom to a point where I was wondering what she would do without this source of life energy and satisfaction.

Before my bro's suicide she was just plain nasty with me. Afterwards she changed tactics to provoke me with infantilizing suggestions of what to eat or not to eat in which quantity and sequence, and any plea, angry outburst or comment would just turn her on further. Ignoring her nagging could also result in her physically pressing items on me, whatever was best suitable to upset me, ideally in front of visitors or strangers, like in restaurants. The only effective defence is to stay away from her.

Now that I'm thinking of it I did exactly what the cliché of passing on the abuse suggests: after meals I got up to tease the dog, ideally with something seemingly benign or irrelevant, like wiggling fingers, which would provoke the dog to jump up and growl or even bite me.

The dog never understood I was only teasing him because he got upset so easily. Or maybe he was intelligent enough to imitate mealtime rituals of his humans.

Constant nagging is surprisingly destructive, even or perhaps especially if it's seemingly benign.