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Originally Posted by here today
Good point. Mutual love -- what's that?  Luckily I felt I had it with my late husband, but we were both a bit nerdy. Got along well together, in our nerdy box, but maybe somewhat outside the box of "normal".
I love my kids . . .but they are not nerdy. So, hm. . .
Maybe back to the individuation question? And how that is done, while still in loving relationship? Or, changing relationships? |
It’s a trendy term. When I was growing up I separated my own personality from my parents. I formed my identity and decided the similarities and differences. I’m sure it’s a normal developmental stage. What is this new concept that young adults are feeling they need to be nothing at all like their parents?
I knew I was in some ways like them and in some ways different.
My parents were challenging. My father died when I was 12. He was ill and was always withdrawn from me anyway. My mother has been great in some ways, emotionally abusive in others. I never wanted to be estranged from even a sometimes abusive parent. With my kids, I was so nice and not too needy or abusive at all. Yet, my son now thinks it’s okay to just dispose of his parents. He did this to both me and my husband. We know it was because his peers convinced him it was the thing to do.