Okay than, I take responsibility for my obsession, but I am not taking responsibility for her fear. My emotions are mine and I will deal with them, her emotions are her problem. But I want to say that I didn't even want to feel towards her, what I felt. I didn't want to fell in love with her, but I fell and I felt deeply ashamed of it. I didn't like the fact that my mind was so deeply overwhelmed by her and that she didn't feel that so deeply. I didn't want her fake niceness, I wanted truth. If she wouldn't be so nice, I wouldn't have so much problem with obsessing with her. If she would show her darker side to me, it would be easier for me to wake up. It is like she wanted me to see her perfect, to be obsessed by her but I didn't want that. At the end I was the one who show my darker side by emails. She refused to do that. I don't know why. I don't see the point why she needs to seem perfect to me. She needed to portray this image of all-loving girl. She even said in front of schoolmates that she loves everyone. When I said to her that I liked her, she replied that she liked everyone. She also said to me that we were all equal, but three days later she said that she was on a higher level and that I was lower. Isn't that gaslighting?