Sorry to read that you feel sad today. Maybe it's a combo of the grief that you feel for being separated from your children, and the Depakote's side effects because mood swings are a very common side effect from that drug.

I have an idea. Write your children each a letter. You don't have to send it to them but you can include it in your book when your book is finished. Or don't include it. But, keep writing them letters when you feel this way. Then maybe someday, you can give them these letters. The letters will document your life story to them in a more truthful way than any information they get from other people.

Also, what about that cycling Meetup idea? Or, joining a Meetup for men who share a love of playing guitar (you could even start your own Meetup for it). I know Meetup seems like a hokey idea but it has worked successfully for me in the past when I needed to revive my social life.

Or -- another hokey idea -- a men's support group for depression. Just trying to brainstorm ways to help you through this day. You are a good person.

@bpcyclist EDIT TO ADD: About the letters -- those are your legacy to your children. Write your children letters regularly for your benefit and theirs.

Someday they will read those letters and they'll be grateful that their father wrote to them. It will fill in the blanks for them about many things, while also lessen their emotional and spiritual pain and maybe even open their hearts.