@imaginethat you don't need to stand up for yourself. You don't need to change who you are. The only reason I reiterated Sarah's suggestions is that because you don't have to 'change' to utilize the tools that CBT - cognitive behavioral therapy - offers to people who don't have to be in active therapy to use those tools. They come in the form of YouTube videos from licensed therapists, from library books about the different techniques related to conversational judo tricks (as I like to call them) that you can use to deflect your family's emotional and verbal abuse.

Of course, they won't appreciate that you are suddenly investing more value in yourself than they think they've allowed you in their previous mistreatment of you, so they will push back and act out even more. But take that as a sign of your success of setting up boundaries and following through with consequences.

It's scary, and it's energy-draining, and can cause self-doubt because CBT is a new set of communication skills.

But when you have toxic people around you, who invalidate your very existence because they are petty, mean, superficial, self-centered and small-minded, the only way to get your life and your self-power back is to arm yourself with skills.

This does not mean you have to change yourself. That's a self-defeating thought. All you're doing is reading about how to arm yourself with stronger communication skills that you can use with these toxic family members to emotionally protect yourself when you converse with them.