The reality is that you are taking meds for a biological problem, just as if you had diabetes or high blood pressure. I wish people would understand that mental disease has nothing to do with weakness. I feel it too, even though, objectively, I know better. But, we are so engrained with that idea, which is certainly promoted by media and insurance and disability policy discrimination, and the unwitting judgments of our well-meaning loved ones...I had really hoped things had improved since I first starting having problems 30 years ago, but, there is still an awful lot of stigma associated with mental health. At this point, I think you should do whatever you can, under a dr.'s care, and hopefully a therapist, to help yourself, whether or not that involves meds and quit feeling quility about it, if you can.