Hi. It’s been awhile since I’ve been here but I need to talk. This past summer, I had a horrible bout of mania and ran up $12,000 in credit card debt. This is the fourth time I’ve done something like this. I didn’t have any credit cards for a couple of years, but when I got this one I really went to town. My husband stood by me the last 3 times, although the third time was pretty ugly. I don’t know what to do, nor do I know why I keep doing this when I’m medicated and I feel good otherwise. I don’t know what to do. I can’t tell him this time. He’s not in the best of health and I don’t know what it would do to him. I could withdraw money from my retirement account to pay it off, but he sees the statements and would find out anyway. I’m worried sick and feel like I don’t have anywhere to turn. I want to die.