sqrlb - I did seriously consider going to the ER last night but I don't want to be locked up. That's my greatest fear. I did scare myself when I started researching methods and bookmarked sites last night. Thankfully one of my kitties brought me out of it, at least for now. I'm still extremely depressed but not suicidal. I was even too afraid to tell my T today about it. I thought she'd lock me up and I'm trying to avoid that at all costs.

em - I've asked for an increase in my ADs but my pdoc won't give it to me cuz she doesn't want me to go too hypomanic. I tried to explain to her that the depression episodes are much worse for me cuz I can tend to get suicidal but she held steadfast to her decision. I will ask her again when I see her next week.

isolated guy - I'm sorry I worried you with my other post, I'm assuming you're talking about the one that you took personally? I'm still here but I'm very, very fragile right now.

DocJohn - Thanks for taking care of those posts for me. I found them extremely upsetting.