Is it possible to return any of your purchases? How did he not notice 12k of new goods coming into your home? I'd sell everything I could to help cover the cost and hope that my husband saw that as a good faith attempt to try to fix what I had broken. I'd also sell anything I no longer use. Additionally, I would take a look at my monthly expenses to see where I could cut back and help to cover the cost.

Also, have you cancelled the card? That seems like a good step.

Lying to him will also hurt him if he finds out. Keeping the secret will hurt you. You're in a tough boat. I'm sorry this happened.

What does your treatment team offer in terms of advice to curb this sort of behavior before it gets out of control in the future? Developing strategies to gain insight before these patterns begin again is important.