Maybe the both of you have different communication styles? It sounds like you are missing each other’s cries. Don’t be discouraged though, it just takes open and honest communication of each other’s needs. Affection and appreciation is big for you; try expressing this, how it feels like when you don’t get it and examples of what it would look like.

He sounds like he has a lot on his mind and he is bottling most of it inside. Find out how he prefers to communicate his feelings and what type of support he needs from you right now. How can you help him and examples of what it would look like for you to bring him some peace.

The more of these conversations you both have, the more satisfying you will find your relationship. It’s awkward at first but after a while it will feel safe.