My Support Forums - View Single Post - TRIGGER WARNING: Husband spit in 3 year old sons face.

sarahsweets · Feb 18, 2020, 10:33 AM

Hey @Twinmama831: I am going to be perfectly blunt. This is not ok, it never is or should be. It is unacceptable. Since he has a history of anger issues and a hot temper, I doubt an incident like this is the only one or will be the only one. If he used the 12 steps to get clean then I assure you he is not acting sober. Clean and sober are very different things. Is there any chance at all that he is using again? I am amazed he threatened to call the police. He would be the one getting arrested for child endangerment or abuse. You were just protecting your child. Don't believe the threats. When it comes to children I draw the line. There is no walking back from abuse "mistakes". You dont get another chance. An abusive parents' apologies dont mean *****. The fact that they lost control like that is enough. He has/will cause trauma. Getting in the face of a toddler yelling....aside from the physical stuff can actually ruin your progress with potty training.

He obviously doesnt understand basic childhood behavior. Punishing toddlers is useless due to their ability to self reflect. All they do is associate fear with the behavior. And that causes shame. And your daughter is watching this and what kind of person do you expect her to date and be with if this is her example. I assure you with fathers and daughters that the relationship with their father forms their ideal of partners. I speak from experience. Other than my husband it was bad boy after bad boy. I took crap and abuse because it seemed "normal" I happened to have met and fallen in love with my gentle husband young so my choices were limited and short lived.
But I spent a lifetime caring what men thought of me and being a pleaser.
You need to leave him or ask him to leave. Would he hurt you if you told him to leave? if that is the case then you need a domestic violence escape plan. If you are interested in resources in your area for this tell me your state, even in a pm and I can gather some info for you.