Phrasing.

I don't know what options I have, which is part of the reason why I'm ranting about it here and not dealing with it. Any overt reaction runs the risk of damaging relationships with other family members by being coldhearted, and brutal honesty has never had any lasting effects on his behavior anyway. Any subtle maneuvering is likely to go over his head.

And the thing is that he doesn't seem to realize (or doesn't care) that he wouldn't have a good relationship with me. He sees me as a particular kind of trophy, and who I actually am is not that. I don't know if he's deluded himself into believing that I am who he wants me to be, or if he thinks that I'll become that.

I'm being vague, so to give an example: On occasions in which he cornered me into more personal conversations, it always leads to him asking why I don't have a boyfriend/husband yet, why I haven't pursued jobs in X field, when's he gonna be a granddad, why I don't take up X hobbies, why I keep rejecting the advances of suitors, etc. Usually I flat-out ignore these, but when I've looked into his motives behind his suggestions, it's often because he had recently talked to Family Member So-and-So who was bragging about their daughter being successful in X career path. He'll obsess about it for months afterwards, demanding that I at least consider X career path as an option (I did once - it was never enough), even going so far as to contact potential employers on my behalf.

He slipped a few times and just straight-up said that he wanted me to attend a family function with him because he wanted to "show me off." He's also openly compared me to other family members with the same antiquated view of Man being head of the household and other members existing only as an extension of him for him to "show off."

Thanks for the suggestion, but it won't be necessary. As I mentioned, I don't feel any resentment over what happened in the past. The only anger I have now is over what's happening now.