I see a counselor without a therapist license and as I have no other options I struggle in finding a way with her.
Sheīs nice, kind and I know she wants me well and I try to bring that with me from our meetings. I often feel in a better mood and a bit less anxious after meeting with her but as Iīve been in this situation several times before I know itīs a fragile feeling of safety.
People who arenīt trained in proper psychotherapy can be warm and nice to talk to but it also creates a dependency to some extent. Thatīs because those people donīt know how to help their clients to process issues on a deeper level and how to become more independent and able to manage life in a better sense.
The sessions I have with this counselor often consists of general chats about the issues I bring to her and as Iīve seen her only like five times I hope sheīll be able to meet me on a more emotional level.
I think she sees herself as someone "being there" for me and that "having someone" will make me change the situation Iīm in. That can be true but only to a limited extent as my issues stem partly from childhood and my way of reacting and relating to other people keeps repeating itself. By that, itīs not enough to just find a job in a different setting or similar.
Iīm very ambivalent to it all as I donīt want to just end it with her but our contact also brings the same concerns over and over again.
This isnīt a post about changing counselors as I donīt have that option but to get support and understanding about my situation.