One of the reasons I have always liked this forum is that some members (maybe many members) sometimes take a moment to read a post from someone who is in distress (not necessarily in crisis) and send a virtual hug, whether this is a posted hug, a row of supportive emojis or a clicked hug. Even if the person does not have advice or information to offer - which is not the sole purpose of this support forum - they still try to send some support. Sometimes (to me anyway) this makes a real difference. So I guess I am saying, to everyone here who tries to be supportive (and I think that is everyone) .. even if you don’t know what to say to a person, or even if you are afraid of upsetting them for some reason (yes misunderstandings etc do occasionally happen on every online forum, as they do in every group of people I have ever engaged with offline... sometimes a hug can go a long way to offer a little bit of support, or maybe even an olive branch (many many years ago I had a minor falling out with a long term online friend/contact. It was a misunderstanding or miscommunication. I do not think either of us were at “fault” ... I sent her a friendly PM. I felt some anxiety ... I did not know how she would react. She sent me a lovely PM back thanking me for the “olive branch”.

I think everyone here is learning and growing. I usually do not close my cave door to people, especially not permanently. I personally do not find that is usually healthy although occasionally it is necessary (especially short term and yes even very occasionally longer term) - as in “real life” I have had to cut a few people out of my life. I never make that decision easily or on impulse. yes occasionally I can be impulsive (not one of my better traits and I try not to be) .. anyway this is a long ramble. I hope someone (anyone) reading this gets something from it and anyone is free to comment.

(I have not spent a very long time writing this post so I apologise for any errors or less than clear points I may have made.)

Respect to all and hugs if accepted

ETA I haven’t been in chat for a long time. I had thought of making a separate post saying thanks to everyone in chat who have always been welcoming to me. That still stands, I hope I’ll be able to chat again soon. I have also found in chat I can say things more easily sometimes without the sometimes long wait, a back and forth conversation is sometimes more healthy for me. I sometimes feel quite exposed making long posts and then waiting... but I think for me it’s healthy sometimes to at least try to express some of what is on my mind, hopefully at least sometimes in a positive or productive way. now I’m tired having written all this standing up on my iPad, I need to move around more. Sorry about the long post.

ETA - re my point about very occasionally having to “cut” someone out of my life, this has usually been someone I trusted too soon and gave my email to and it didn’t “work out”... I try to be more guarded these days and be sure I trust someone before I give an email out. (and for me “trusting someone” enough for that would usually take at least a year)