wow....thats a lot to deal with, you obviously care for her very much to take the time to write all that here, my advice is to not smother her, let her do what she may, and it will all work out in the wash, I'd not give her any ground rules like, " you hook up with him and theres no chance between the two of you ", thats just my opinion

fact is if you or she wants to do something like that, either could on the sly and never be caught, you have to trust her, in my opinion, with whatever choices she makes for herself

heck she could just as easly, and would probably prefer to hook up at the hotel with the guy if he did stay in one