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Well today there is social media and so many of my real family members are reaching out with photos of us together when I was a baby etc. I found out where my red hair came from, that I have a brother and that I'm half Irish! But I feel so much guilt about it all! They post on my facebook and my mother laughs about it and mocks that I talk to people who didn't make an effort beforehand.
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There is nothing wrong with you learning about your genetic roots. Actually, that happens to be something MANY people like to know which is why so many have submitted their DNA so they can trace their ancesters.
It's ok if you spend time leaning about your blood relatives. Ignore what your mother thinks or says. You have every right to investigate and learn. And if your actual father was a jerk, well, could have been due to how he was raised. We can inherit "some" traits, some things are genetic, not all of who we are is genetic.