My Support Forums - View Single Post - Stuck---Needing Help!

sarahsweets · Feb 19, 2020 at 04:09 AM

Hey @questionable1987

Quote:

Originally Posted by questionable1987

Well I broke up Mr.X but I still love Him, not like I did, but there is still love there. I still see Him, We talk or text daily. I see Him a few times a week. We still hug, We are still friends. He knows He hurt me and it has messed up my mind. He wants to fix things and us get back together and continue our lives together. He wants to get married and live happily ever after. He does NOT know about Mr. Perfect. I don't see the point in telling Him and hurting Him if I do decide to pick Him.

So basically, if you "picked" Mr X you would be continuing the deception by not telling me he was up against another "contender"? I do not see how a lie by omission would set the stage for an honest continued relationship.

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I don't want to hurt either 1. But 1 is going to be hurt. I know!

Well Mr. Perfect knows about Mr.X. I have not lied about My past to Him. He knows that I see him, text him and that we talk. In case it did work out I didn't want to lie. He is jealous of Mr. X. He know's He's an ex and He knows I still care about Him. I guess it's a man thing to be territorial.

I do not think its a 'man' thing. I think its a 'committed partner thing' to wan the person you are seriously dating to stop talking, texting and seeing their Ex.

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I haven't told Mr. X about Mr. Perfect because I wanted to see what else was out there. Just to satisfy my curiosity so if We did fix things and get back together I wouldn't wonder.

Based on this, I am not sure if you should be with either one. No one should be the second choice. No one should be in the role of " satisfying" someone's curiousity. Would you like to be in either role?

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They both are great guys and I like different things about each one.
Pro's and Con's of each one was difficult to do. But I've done it. It didn't really help me. I've talked to my oldest child about it because my smallest is to little to understand. My oldest picks Mr. Perfect.

How old is this child? Actually it doesnt matter if they are 10 or 17. Kids should not have the burden of helping their mother choose which man to stay with. What if your child told you to stay with one and it failed or got ugly? Imagine the guilt the child would feel?

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My parents have met them both and don't like Mr. X because of our age difference. So they are all about me giving Mr Perfect a shot. My best friend says I should give Mr. X another shot because of how good we were together in the past. My Mom tells me to follow My heart. Which I can't honestly do, because I don't "love" Mr. Perfect, because My guard is up and I don't see the point in getting that close to Him if it's not going to last.

If you dont love Mr perfect and you dont know about Mr x then neither needs to be a choice. Imagine if Mr perfect knew you didnt love him but were agonizing over choosing which person to be with. And getting your friends and family involved is way too many people in your business.

Quote:

I don't know which one I should choose. I've talked to a therapist and that was a waste of time and money. So I got to googling and came across this forum and thought I'd post my problem and see if I could get some help from real people that maybe have been in this same situation.
Thanks for reading and any positive advice would be appreciated.

I can appreciate how you want positive advice so I hope my realism isnt upsetting you. I am just trying to share my concerns about the situation.