Good morning, Tryingtobehappy. Have you been to an AA meeting since starting this thread? I recall you expressed a possible interest in going. What time(s) are the meetings near you? If you're willing to go, just do it! If you go, raise your hand and let someone know that you feel vulnerable to drinking. I know we live far apart, but if you are willing to go, how's about I promise to go to my local one at 12:15 pm today? Would that help? I really want you to get sober again, but you have to work it, not just one day at a time, but one hour...one minute at a time. If you find yourself in your car in front of a liquor store, take a breathe and ask yourself "Do I really want to go in the liquor store?" If you say "yes", ask the same question five more times. If a "no" comes out, then within a second start the car again and go home/to a safe place.