Hi all. I threw out my razor blades today. It is our garbage day so they are in the trash can by the curb. It's a weird feeling. In a way, I feel proud of myself for doing that, like it is a step towards freedom and away from self harm. On the other hand, I'm losing my security blanket.

I know I can always get more. But it will require me going to the store and having to buy them, or ordering them online and waiting for them to come. So maybe that time frame will be enough to make me think through the actions.

What scares me though, besides losing my security blanket, is that I'll be desperate and I'll use something less safe to hurt myself with. So that's a concern that I'm going to have to figure out down the road. Honestly, right now, I mostly feel scared. It's not a good feeling, but I'm hoping that I am doing the right thing.


Hugs to anyone who wants one and to anyone who is struggling today. Kit