Hey Birddancer, I forced myself to go last night. We have it only Tuesday and Friday here. Today I have considered over and over if I should give in and go to the liquor store. Last night was very bad for me, AA did calm me down a bit but the hopelessness did not lessen like it usually does when I go. That was dissapointing. I normally end up feeling like I want to keep trying and like I can handle it afterwards but this time I just felt defeated like they all had what I wanted but would never have. Anyways they tried being supportive but I am really not doing well and it just didnt help. Thank you for your encouragement though, I will do my best to focus on those brief moments where I feel like I can manage this.