Possible Trigger - SI

University begins in five days. The Fibromyalgia/Chronic Fatigue is getting worse, and my hip is still causing major issues. Despair is flooding in. I don't know if I will cope with the load, and if I can't I don't know if I can cope with the loss. I am not depressed, but still very suicidal. No one can help me or fix this. All I can do is wait and see what unfolds. I'm scared I won't make it. Sorry to be so down. I have tried so hard to stay positive. Living a life so limited physically and mentally(cognitive) is not one I want to live. This has to improve ASAP.