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sarahsweets · Feb 20, 2020, 01:19 AM

Hey @MarcusAurelius I am so sorry you are so invalidated.

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Originally Posted by MarcusAurelius

I just need to vent. Please take that for what it is. I’m so I sick of being told I can do something when I can’t seem to hack it. If my anxiety and overall well-being is being put to the test day in and day out, how am I even living? I’m not. I’m dying slowly through stress and anxiety and pain of work and fear of not having a job. I can’t afford that either.

It gets minimized every time I bring up how I struggle. “So and so can do it, so can you.”. “It can’t be that hard”. “I think you can do it.” — not one statement is helpful.

This is totally unfair, rude and untrue. Sure wouldnt we all like to just suck it up and keep going? Do people think we like having these issues? I personally throw one right back when I hear these types of things.
" So and so has no trouble getting out of bed and doing the dishes"
"Oh, well does so and so also have manic cycles and want to harm themselves whilst doing that wonderful thing you think I should easily be able to do?"

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They just remind me how screwed up this is that I can’t do it.

Flip the script: let it remind you how uncompassionate they are and feel sorry for them that they have such unempathetic feelings.

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I know I couldn’t get disability because I’m able bodied I guess, but I feel crippled by my anxiety, especially here.

I am on disability for bipolar, adhd and GAD.

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When I worked as a teacher I was stressed all the time but not panicked. So maybe it’s just this job? I just don’t have an alternative and anything else in this area would be fast paced and less pay so more anxiety and stress for less. I hate call centers so much. But here I am.

Those sound terrible.

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I can’t go home because I’ll be yelled at for leaving work early and deal with that all day. I already feel worthless and have fears and anxieties— I don’t need to be preyed on.

Who do you live with that will yell at you like that?

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I plan to go back in, in about 30 min. That’ll give me about 45min off the clock. My time isn’t an issue as far as employment goes right now , but I can’t keep doing this. I just can’t. I can’t see a psychiatrist until next week (Wednesday). I just don’t know what’s left to do. I’ve tried breathings, I’ve tried this weird “counting” method. I’ve tried just suffering, it just doesn’t work. I get so bent out of shape. I’m just broken beyond repair and nothing but a waste. That’s how it feels. No one can even acknowledge I’m suffering without putting some spin of “it’s not that bad” on it.

Oh, and tomorrow is my birthday. Hurray.

That’s it I guess. Please, I’m putting myself out here in a fragile state as it is which is dumb on my part — but please accept on your part this is where I am right now and no “I believe in you, just change your mindset!” Is gonna do much good here. There isn’t even a need for comments honestly, so don’t feel obliged. I just wish someone could understand how this affects me and why I feel the way I do. I guess if I were better with words it’d come easier.

Thanks for reading .

There is this technique that I actually read about in a fictional show that I call 4 blue things. It could be 3 or 5, whatever you want. When I am in utter panic I look for 4 blue objects and say them out loud slowly.
For example I'll say "I see the blue car"
"I see the blue toothbrush" " I see a blue book" etc. Sometimes mometarily taking my focus off my panic and speaking out loud halts the anxiety attack. But medication has been the most effective form of treatment for me. Keep your chin up.